Brad Pitt reportedly arranged a clandestine meeting with ex-wife Jennifer Aniston during his trip to New York late last month. The Daily Mail says:

The pair, who ended their five-year marriage in 2005, met up at a hotel in the city for an hour where Brad told Aniston about his relationship problems with Angelina Jolie.

It comes amid reports that Brad and Jennifer are in regular phone contact and – if true – their latest encounter marks their second private meeting together in the Big Apple this year.

A source [said] that Jennifer agreed to visit Brad in his suite at the Essex House hotel the day after he attended a political conference with former U.S. president Bill Clinton in New York.

If you opened up a “Secret Meeting Motel,” you would make serious coin just from Brad Pitt alone! Dude is always off having these secret meetings with Jennifer Aniston. We’ve all got news for you, Brad! Your secret meetings ain’t so fucking secret, because we’re all reading about them. Anyways . . .   does Jen get to wear a trench coat and hide behind potted plants in the hotel lobby? Because that sounds kind of hot.

The most distressing evidence yet of Brad Pitt’s mid-life crisis

Brad Pitt looked like a pretentious asswipe when he showed up to the premiere of Inglorious Basterds in San Sebastian, Spain, in a pair of monogrammed slippers! Still, I don’t think we should just jump to conclusions without giving him a chance to explain himself. For all we know, that BP could stand for “Butt Plug.” Or “Ball-less Puss.” It is Brad Pitt we’re talking about, after all.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt managed to drag themselves away from the kids and check out the “Inglourious Basterds” premiere in Hollywood. This does not surprise me considering the moving involves Nazi killings and the French, who couldn’t beat themselves out of a wet paper bag. After all, Angelina Jolie is a such a humanitarian, this films seems like something she would definitely want to see. And speaking of see, you have got to see the rest of the photos of Angelina because Jesus Christ Angelina Jolie is still the hottest piece of ass on the planet and it’s not even close.

According to the National Enquirer, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s “fairytale romance” has imploded. From the tabloid:

Brad Pitt has moved out after a furious bust-up with Angelina Jolie – and friends fear the couple is heading for an ugly legal battle that will tear their family apart! The Enquirer has also learned Brad plans to ask for custody of ALL six children if their split ends up in court, where a judge may have to work out who gets what of their $200 million fortune.

Insiders say the couple’s fairytale romance imploded when Brad, 45, confronted Angelina over not devoting enough time to him, while he’s been caring for their children – Maddox, 7, Pax, 5, Zahara, 4, Shiloh, 2, and 8-month-old twins Knox and Vivienne.

“It ended up with a big shouting match,” an insider told The Enquirer. “They may end up splitting for good, and if it comes to that, Brad is going to ask for custody of all the children,” the insider said.

This story is fake for one obvious reason: No guy on earth would want sole custody of six kids – especially if three of them aren’t even yours. What’s more likely is that a guy would actually pay his ex to keep his annoying kids as far away from him as possible. These payments would be for the children’s welfare and presumably made on a monthly basis – as a kind of “support” if you will. If only there were a legal term for that type of arrangement . . .

Although they didn’t walk away with an Oscar, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were the unofficial stars of last night’s Academy Awards. Angelina wore an Elie Saab gown, and paused briefly for interviews on the red carpet before entering the auditorium. Later that night, Angelina lost out on the Best Actress awards to Kate Winslet, but that probably didn’t come as much of a surprise to anyone.

Also discovered was that Angelina Jolie is still doesn’t look too bad. It’s like every night she sucks the youth out of Jennifer Aniston.

Last night, Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie finally met. Kind of, sort of. Aniston presented Best Animated Feature with Jack Black while in Jolie and Brad Pitt’s direct line of sight. Gasp! Tension you could cut it with a knife.

When Black made a joke about how all Pixar films win Oscars, Aniston said, “I apologize Mr. Katzenberg [Jeffrey Katzenberg is the co-founder of Dreamworks], I don’t know why we let him out of the house.”

The camera then panned to Jolie, who laughed.

When Aniston announced the nominees, she moved to the center of the stage, right in front of Jolie and Pitt. When the lights were down, Aniston smiled directly at Pitt, but not at Jolie.

Aniston then presented Best Short Film; both Pitt and Jolie kept huge smiles on their faces the entire time.

As Aniston walked off stage, Jolie and Pitt both clapped.

See now? That wasn’t so hard now, was it? Imagine how much easier the media would have gone on them if they would have just been friendly to each other before this. And there’s nothing wrong with staying friendly with your exes. It’s supposed to be really healthy, even. I say this objectively speaking of course, because I would literally set my boyfriend’s ex on fire before I let her come near us.

Brad Pitt left his zipper down during a photocall in Paris earlier today for his movie The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. How embarrassing. Brad must suffer from the same condition I do. Big penisitis. If you can’t figure it out, it’s when you have a hard time zipping up your pants because you have a huge penis. It’s a stigma me, and apparently Brad Pitt, have had to live with our whole lives.

Gomez Addams and Margaret Thatcher attended the German premiere of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button at the CineStar Sony Theatre in Berlin. I don’t know why everyone always says that Angelina dresses so boring; this ensemble would be in the height of fashion for any discerning British Prime Minister in the 1980’s.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie walked the red carpet tonight for the Golden Globe Awards. Although they were all smiles for the cameras, Angelina ducked away from reporters.

In case you were wondering, Angelina wore a Atelier Versace gown, Jimmy Choo shoes, Neil Lane jewelry, and her own scary zombie arms. Brad Pitt on the other hand, I barely recognized at first because I thought security detail got lost and wandered out right into the middle of the red carpet.

Here’s Brad Pitt standing next to Angelina trying to look cool.

Looking like a wax figure is really uncool! Yes, the horrific word “uncool” is still haunting my day and night dreams.

Here’s Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt (A.K.A. Morticia and Gomez) leaving their hotel in London yesterday.