After three years of marriage, Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley are officially separating at their respective douchenozzles. Us Weekly says

“She dumped him and told him she was leaving him. She wants to move on,” a source [says] adding that Lavigne, 25, forced him out of their $9.5 million [Bel Air] estate. “Divorce papers will be filed any day now.”

Whibley, 29, “is crushed,” adds another insider.

I’d be crushed too if I was Deryck. You go from living the high life in a 12,000 square foot palace in Bel Air to some 5,000 square foot dump in Malibu or Beverly Hills. Man, this guy just can’t catch a break.

Avril Lavigne was on a yacht in St. Tropez the other day, and man, I have to ask her where she got her necklace. I think it really brings out her eyes.

Hubby Deryck Whibley was nowhere in sight when Avril Lavigne got shit-faced with a couple of girlfriends at My House in Hollywood last night. My sources tell me he was home pondering the faggy spelling of the name “Deryck” and the regrettable connotations between “Whibley” and a flabby penis.