Heidi Klum threw her 9th Annual Halloween Party in New York on Friday dressed as the multi-armed Indian god Shiva. As always, she had the best costume there. The only way that costume could kick any more ass is if it also included eight boobs and maybe a jet pack.

Seal

Ashley Olsen

Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart 

Carmen Electra

Helena Christensen

Ice-T and Coco

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt

Kendra Wilkinson

Kim Kardashian

Liv Tyler

Traci Bingham 

Ashley Olsen and Mary-Kate are reportedly fighting over whether or not to have breast enlargements. Mary-Kate doesn’t want to because she’s into that waifish look and thinks clothes look better with less cleavage. Ashley, on the other hand, wants tits. Star writes:

“Ashley is considering getting her boobs done because she wants to look more voluptuous,” says one source. “And she told Mary-Kate that she wanted her to get one at the same time so that it wouldn’t be glaringly obvious that Ashley had work done. That way, they could say that they had just both matured and were filling out naturally.

Ashley, go for it. Get yourself a nice set of double Ds and an ass implant. We’ll all play along and pretend that you filled out at 22 years-of-age, trust me. You deserve to reward yourself with a female body just for the year you’re having, since it was your sister Mary Kate and not you who killed the Joker. All you did was let Lance Armstrong ride you like a swing, which technically isn’t illegal but it is certainly disturbing. So you get the implants and your sister can use her part of the tits money to buy some paddles for the guest room.

I think The Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute Gala is my favorite of all the celebrity fashion events. All the outfits are always really fun and colorful, and there’s no pretense of having some boring awards ceremony getting in the way like at the stupid Oscars or something. Yawn. Anyway, going by this logic you know who else loves the Costume Institute Gala? That’s right, the Olsen twins! Since they don’t actually do anything but show up to dress up events anymore, this gala is pretty much the top of their existences. As you can see, Mary Kate dressed to the occasion with her best glossy gold 70’s muumuu; and Ashley used it as an excuse to show off her smoking preteen body in this slinky black number with sex-tegically placed cuts.

According to People Magazine, Lindsay Lohan might be headed back to her pre-rehab days. The starlet spent the weekend in NYC, and reportedly did not just say no when liquor was offered to her.

Lohan, who completed a stint in Cirque Lodge rehab last September, is raising eyebrows again after she was spotted on Saturday drinking Grey Goose and Red Bull cocktails at a party deejayed by pal Samantha Ronson. Lohan, 21, smoked cigarettes, chatted with friends and hit the dance floor at Hawaiian Tropic Zone in New York as Ronson spun tunes until 4 a.m.

While Lohan and Ronson are frequent fixtures in hot Los Angeles clubs, the actress has opted for water over alcoholic beverages. During a recent visit to Foxtail, an L.A. hotspot, Lohan sipped water as Ronson spun in the deejay booth.

When she isn’t getting her drink on, Lindsay is defending her woman. While Samantha was spinning later that weekend at Beatrice Inn, Ashley Olsen made the bad decision to say hello to the DJ. Lindsay got a little bit upset.

“Ashley Olsen said hello to Sam at the Beatrice, and Lindsay screamed at her, ‘Get your 15-year-old ‘Full House’ a – - away from my girlfriend,’ ” said our spy. Lindsay is so into her pal, she’s even created a Facebook profile under “Lindsay Ronson.”

Don’t fuck with a jealousy dyke. Lohan really doesn’t know who she’s messing with. Those Trollsens have evil deep down in their souls. Lohan better check under her bed at night. That’s if she’s not too busy feasting on a Ronson clambake.

Ever wonder if Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen have to sit around and try to think up new ways of being creepy, or that they’re just so good at it that it comes natural? This past weekend, the twins attended the wedding of stylist Estee Stanley wearing these freakish masks. Naturally. What, you were expecting a delicate touch of Baby’s Breath in their hair?

You know it’s only a matter of time before the two of them hole up into some Whatever Happened to Baby Jane mansion, and years later cops find that one of them had been dead for about a decade after discovering the mummified remains still wearing a giant pair of sunglasses and a burnt out Marlboro Red clutched between its corpsey lips.

According to Star Magazine, Hugh Hefner would like Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen to pose nude in Playboy.

After striking out when the twins turned 18, Hugh tried again, hoping they would pose for Playboy’s June issue to mark their 22nd birthday.

“Hef thinks the twins are every young man’s fantasy,” an insider tells Star.

Unfortunately, it’s not their dream. “They’re all about high-end fashion these days,” says the insider. “They want to do Vogue.” Besides, the twins aren’t getting along right now, adds the source. “Ashley is jealous because Mary-Kate is getting all the acting roles.”

God knows I love a good train wreck, but even this is too disturbing for me to stomach.

Mary Kate Olsen & Ashley Olsen are frigging terrifying! I don’t care how much everyone tries to convince me the Olsen Twins are some kind of fashion icons, because this looks like something out of a Japanese horror remake. God damn it. I’m going to have worse nightmares tonight than when I watched The Ring.

Here’s Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen at Chanel Fashion Show in Paris.

Peta has gone after the Olsens dedicating an entire website and MySpace to them. They have named them “The Trollsens” and separately named them Hairy Kate and Trashley Trollsen.

They are going after the twins for wearing fur and also including it in their fashion collections.

Peta said, “No one would argue that Mary-Kate and Ashley could use some meat on their bones, but the last thing they need is hair on their backs.”

Their MySpace reads: ” Hi, we’re Hairy Kate and Trashley Trollsen, and like most trolls, we live under a bridge and wait for furry animals to walk by so we can skin them and wear them as hats. Because we’re celebrities, we don’t have to live by the same rules that ugly people like you do, and if we want to wrap ourselves up in someone else’s skin, or drape our bodies in the rotting remains of someone’s family, we totally can! And boy, do we ever. ”

Like the Olsens give a fuck. They live in their own troll bubble. They almost certainly don’t even know what the internet is. They can’t be worried with petty things like that. All they know is high heels and Marlboro Reds.

Amy Winehouse and her super-creepy husband came out to support their pals, the Olsens, at Harvey Nichols last night in London. The Olsens were there to launch their new fashion line “The Row” which is short for “Super Expensive Troll Crap.”

What the hell do those three talk about anyway? Drug, right? Yeah, drug. Pills and folk tales, because crackheads love folk tales for some motive.

I’m waiting for the day Winehouse and Britney Spears crosses paths. Their love of McDonald’s will bring them together one day.

God forbid Ashley and Mary Kate Olsen (what’s up with the all black clothing in the heat of summer?) be photographed. Principally while arriving at a bistro. Because food is bad. Or maybe they just don’t want to be photographed because they’re vampires, and are sensitive to the luminosity from flashbulbs. Strike that hypothesis; these photos were taken during the day. I guess they’re just plain creepy.