Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt managed to drag themselves away from the kids and check out the “Inglourious Basterds” premiere in Hollywood. This does not surprise me considering the moving involves Nazi killings and the French, who couldn’t beat themselves out of a wet paper bag. After all, Angelina Jolie is a such a humanitarian, this films seems like something she would definitely want to see. And speaking of see, you have got to see the rest of the photos of Angelina because Jesus Christ Angelina Jolie is still the hottest piece of ass on the planet and it’s not even close.

Here’s a nude sculpture of Angelina Jolie titled “Landmark For Breastfeeding” by New York based artist Daniel Edwards. It’s scheduled to be displayed in Oklahoma which sounds like a great idea. Because there’s nothing the Midwest loves more than activist celebrities. And art.

According to the National Enquirer, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s “fairytale romance” has imploded. From the tabloid:

Brad Pitt has moved out after a furious bust-up with Angelina Jolie – and friends fear the couple is heading for an ugly legal battle that will tear their family apart! The Enquirer has also learned Brad plans to ask for custody of ALL six children if their split ends up in court, where a judge may have to work out who gets what of their $200 million fortune.

Insiders say the couple’s fairytale romance imploded when Brad, 45, confronted Angelina over not devoting enough time to him, while he’s been caring for their children – Maddox, 7, Pax, 5, Zahara, 4, Shiloh, 2, and 8-month-old twins Knox and Vivienne.

“It ended up with a big shouting match,” an insider told The Enquirer. “They may end up splitting for good, and if it comes to that, Brad is going to ask for custody of all the children,” the insider said.

This story is fake for one obvious reason: No guy on earth would want sole custody of six kids – especially if three of them aren’t even yours. What’s more likely is that a guy would actually pay his ex to keep his annoying kids as far away from him as possible. These payments would be for the children’s welfare and presumably made on a monthly basis – as a kind of “support” if you will. If only there were a legal term for that type of arrangement . . .

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Scientists from around the world will be taking a break from finding the cure for cancer and other stuff, so that they can devote all their time to studying the clip from last night’s Oscars of Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie’s showdown! Okay, maybe scientists won’t be studying this mess, but you know every entertainment show and celebrity will bring in “body language” experts to dissect this from top to bottom.

Jennifer Aniston presented Best Cartoon Movie with Jack Black and the camera panned to Angelina twice. Jolie came prepared, because she had her game face on. Her fake ass smile said “awwwww,” but her eyes said, “Fail, bitch. Fail!” Aniston was up there like a lamb brought to slaughter. She should have hot boxed in the parking lot, because bitch was like Octomom without her IVF fix.

And it’s not in the clip above, but when Aniston opened the envelope, she murdered that thing. I almost thought she was going to throw it on the ground and start stomping on it while screaming, “You are so uncool! Uncool you are!” You know whose smug mug Jennifer was picturing on that envelope.

Although they didn’t walk away with an Oscar, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were the unofficial stars of last night’s Academy Awards. Angelina wore an Elie Saab gown, and paused briefly for interviews on the red carpet before entering the auditorium. Later that night, Angelina lost out on the Best Actress awards to Kate Winslet, but that probably didn’t come as much of a surprise to anyone.

Also discovered was that Angelina Jolie is still doesn’t look too bad. It’s like every night she sucks the youth out of Jennifer Aniston.

Last night, Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie finally met. Kind of, sort of. Aniston presented Best Animated Feature with Jack Black while in Jolie and Brad Pitt’s direct line of sight. Gasp! Tension you could cut it with a knife.

When Black made a joke about how all Pixar films win Oscars, Aniston said, “I apologize Mr. Katzenberg [Jeffrey Katzenberg is the co-founder of Dreamworks], I don’t know why we let him out of the house.”

The camera then panned to Jolie, who laughed.

When Aniston announced the nominees, she moved to the center of the stage, right in front of Jolie and Pitt. When the lights were down, Aniston smiled directly at Pitt, but not at Jolie.

Aniston then presented Best Short Film; both Pitt and Jolie kept huge smiles on their faces the entire time.

As Aniston walked off stage, Jolie and Pitt both clapped.

See now? That wasn’t so hard now, was it? Imagine how much easier the media would have gone on them if they would have just been friendly to each other before this. And there’s nothing wrong with staying friendly with your exes. It’s supposed to be really healthy, even. I say this objectively speaking of course, because I would literally set my boyfriend’s ex on fire before I let her come near us.

Gomez Addams and Margaret Thatcher attended the German premiere of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button at the CineStar Sony Theatre in Berlin. I don’t know why everyone always says that Angelina dresses so boring; this ensemble would be in the height of fashion for any discerning British Prime Minister in the 1980’s.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie walked the red carpet tonight for the Golden Globe Awards. Although they were all smiles for the cameras, Angelina ducked away from reporters.

In case you were wondering, Angelina wore a Atelier Versace gown, Jimmy Choo shoes, Neil Lane jewelry, and her own scary zombie arms. Brad Pitt on the other hand, I barely recognized at first because I thought security detail got lost and wandered out right into the middle of the red carpet.

Here’s Brad Pitt standing next to Angelina trying to look cool.

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Angelina Morticia Jolie broke down in tears yesterday after broaching the subject of her late mother Marcheline Bertrand at a London press conference for her new movie “The Changeling.” Angelina said of her mother:

“‘Her name was Marcheline, but we used to call her Marshmallow, as a joke, because she was just the softest, most gentle woman in the world. She was really sweet and was never angry – she couldn’t swear to save her life. But when it came to her kids, she was really fierce and so this (film) is very much her, her story.

She was the woman I related to, who had that elegance and strength for knowing what was right.”

Incidentally, the kids in my neighborhood growing up used to call me “marshmallow,” too. But not because of my meek and tenderhearted spirit. Because I was pushing a hundred and fifty pounds in the third grade and required a special desk and chafing cream after kickball. Kids can be real bastards sometimes.

Looking like a wax figure is really uncool! Yes, the horrific word “uncool” is still haunting my day and night dreams.

Here’s Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt (A.K.A. Morticia and Gomez) leaving their hotel in London yesterday.