Ali Lohan posed for Jonathan Ressler’s ‘Extraordinary Women Exhibit’ in Times Square, presumably right next to a train station where a grieved watchmaker had built a clock that ran backwards. She looks like she could be 30 years old, and she’s only 15. Jesus. It’s like she has that disease that makes you age faster than everyone else. By the time she’s 18, her breasts will be swinging down by her knees…

How did Ali fall into the “extraordinary women” category? White Oprah probably fell on Jonathan’s dick and that’s how she made this happen.

Shouldn’t this girl be in school anyway? She shouldn’t be outside freezing her illegal plastic tittay sacks in the middle of Times Square looking like one of the Hookers at the Point in dire need of a Swan makeover. Being one of White Oprah’s children will eff you up. The Curious Case of Ali Lohan, indeed.

Yesterday, UsWeekly posted these side-by-side pictures of allegedly 14-year-old (thanks Andy) Ali Lohan and asked the question: “Did Ali Lohan have a summer growth spurt?” She probably has a plastic surgery office in her house. Lindsay is, of course, shocked and outraged by the plastic surgery accusations, writing on her MySpace

ARE THEY REAL?????

hey everyone..
i just had to share something that came up today and it made me feel a bit sick to my stomach.
so, here’s the visual…
me and my friend Patrick walking into a store, and two paparazzi come up out of nowhere (like usual) and start throwing questions at me…
one of them being, “Hey Lindsay, what do you have to say about people commenting on your sisters implants?”
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my response simply was, “Did you really just ask me that? She is a 14 year old girl, and you are a pedophile!”
i was caught out of nowhere so i didn’t really come up with the proper response at the time.. there’s many other things that i felt like saying, but why give it to a random guy with a camera so that he can make money!
All i am trying to say is, is that, i was raised with a wonderful family surrounding me, of course we have our ups and downs, but all in all my mother taught us to appreciate what we have been given. Nor would she ever encourage, or allow a 14 year old child to alter her body.
i am not judging people that do, but i am just saying that its not something that my family finds necessary to do, especially when you’re not even fully developed yet!
It is hard enough being 14 years old and you have enough insecurities to begin with, then add being in the public eye…
i just find it really disconcerting that people have to focus on the negative and that some people are sooooo bored with their own lives that they need to manifest lies to hurt another person.
in a more positive light…
i got some great clothes from alexander wang and i miss samantha cuz she’s out of town
have a wonderful day everyone~
til next time..
xx LL

The pedophile accusation brings up an interesting point of debate: are we, the internet masses, at fault for the hyper-sexualization of teenage celebrities, or are the ‘twee queens facilitating their own objectification? And — more importantly — should Dina Lohan be referred to as “pimp,” or “devil’s dark minion?” I’m only asking because I need to know how to address the Christmas card this year. For some reason, this month’s issue of “Barely Legal” doesn’t specify.

Lindsay Lohan’s 14 year old sister, Ali Lohan, released her first single today, and God bless her soul, it’s so painful. That girl cannot hold a note to save her life…. This is not singing, it is a teeny tiny voice churning out a little mouse sound with a lot of studio production to make it sound like passable singing. Musically it’s somewhere between video poker music and the sound you hear when you call a fax machine.