Adam Sandler and his wife friend Jackie have added another human to this earth. You better get your oxygen tank out soon, because we’re running out of air to breathe!!

Adam wrote on his website yesterday: “Jackie and Adam had a beautiful baby girl, Sunny Madeline on November 2. Everyone is happy and healthy.”

Sadie Sandler & Sunny Sandler?! They sound like a failed folk duo whose greatest achievement was opening for The Partridge Family in the 70s. There’s too many fucking Ss there.

Hayden Panettiere is now officially 18 years of age and more legal than ever.

Why they’re making a big deal out of this…is that she’s now fair game, so all you horny bastards can gawk at her without getting a culpable conscience. All you horny bastards that were gawking at her before and didn’t have a culpable conscience will now have to find another underage girl to replace her in your sick perverted fantasies.

Anyway, Happy Birthday hot stuff!

Adam Sandler doesn’t look that bad, in fact. I’d give it a go! Why not? Adam was spotted cleaning out his car trunk this past weekend. No privacy!

I am so jealous of him. I can no longer go barefoot outside. I don’t know what happened but I am such a wimp. I act like I’m walking on hot coals all the time. Can anyone relate? Adam Sandler was never hot but definitely beloved.