Adam Lambert’s American Music Awards performance on Sunday night was so shocking that even Glambert himself couldn’t stay on his feet.

There are some VERY mixed reviews coming in regarding Adam Lambert’s performance at the American Music Awards. People were probably so shocked they didn’t even notice when he took a tumble up the stairs and rolled up to his backup dancer. We have to say … that’s darn professional of him. It almost looks choreographed.

Adam worked overtime to make sure Middle-America covered their children’s eyes with bibles while watching his orgy extravaganza.

You know, I’m all for doing slut shit on prime time TV, but this mess was way too staged. Adam was like a hooker giving a handjob to an obese man who smells like cold brisket and algae. I mean, that kiss was as erotic as a Snuggie. It looked like a gorilla sucking food out of another gorilla’s mouth. Judge for yourself:

I don’t see why, because when he came on stage on with eyeliner and daddy didn’t hug me hair and sang Broadway tunes, I was under the impression he was a UFC fighter or a Navy Seal, but gay? No way, man. No way. I’m just not buying it.