Josh Hartnett was hospitalized early this morning after suffering abdominal pain, according to E! News:

Hartnett was out Sunday at Hollywood’s Chateau Marmont when he began “suffering from a flare of a gastrointestinal problem that plagued him while he was starring in the West End of London during the production of Rain Man,” says rep Susan Patricola. The actor was laid up for a few days last November.
Patricola says Hartnett walked into an ambulance under his own power about 1:45 a.m. He was taken to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center.
“He is under observation but is resting comfortably,” she says.

I hope gastrointestinal disorder is just publicist talk for bad coke, right? Or bad fish? Or bad baby? Or bad jizz? Or maybe Josh tried to do that acting-thing again? Don’t do that, Josh! Leave it to the pros.

JFX Online got their hands on a voicemail allegedly made by Britney Spears and left for her lawyer. The transcript:

“Hi my name’s Britney Spears. I called you earlier.”

Wait a minute. “I called you earlier.” Is that necessary? Is he really going to confuse her with his other crazy popstar client named Britney Spears? Continuing . . .

“I’m calling again because I just wanted to make sure that during the process of eliminating the conservatorship that my father has threatened me several times, you know, he’ll take my children away. I just want to be guaranteed that everything will be fine with the process of you guys taking care of everything that things will stay the same as far as my custodial time. That’s it, bye.”

Is it really a threat to take Britney’s kids away? Seems like a pretty sweet deal to me. Britney should totally let him do it. Let him take the kids away and she can start fresh. It’s kinda like declaring parenting bankruptcy. Sure her uterus score will take a hit but that’ll be cleared up and she can have kids again in seven years.

John Mayer was aboard the Mayercraft Cruise Liner in Long Beach the other day where he busted out his Big Gay Skipper outfit in order to attention whore above deck. Last year, he paraded around the inaugural cruise in a Borat costume. Regrettably, we won’t find out what he’s going to wear tomorrow because if all goes according to plan, he’ll be pushed overboard into the ocean where I’ll have already chummed for sharks.