In the latest chapter of The Never-ending Downward Spiral That is Lindsay Lohan; Lindsay Lohan and her assistant got into a fender bender, damaging the $100,000 Maserati that she recently bought with Samantha Ronson’s money. TMZ reports:

Lindsay Lohan’s bad luck continues … her new, $115,000 Maserati Quattroporte was smashed up some, courtesy of her assistant. P.S. Linds, it’s illegal in California to drive without a front license plate. Then again, that’s the least of your problems.

Fine, it was her assistant driving. Whatever. It’s probably only because she had to drive with Lindsay in the car. I can imagine it would be pretty difficult to pay attention to the road when your passenger is trying to fuck the gear shift smoke something she found under the seat. My God, Lindsay? What is that?!

A cigarette and a Coke? Ooh, Lindsay, you’re such an enchantress!