A Texas homemaker named Sheyla Hershey underwent her ninth breast enlargement surgery last month in order to break the world record for biggest fake tits — a comically disgusting 38KKK. Her mom and dad must be so proud! According to The Sun:

Medics warned 28-year-old her that her breasts are in danger of exploding but that did not stop Sheyla going under the knife. US doctors had refused to carry out any more ops on Sheyla when her breasts were already a staggering 34FFF… but Sheyla was determined to get in the record books and jetted off to Brazil where there are no limits on implant sizes.

Sheyla said: “To me, big is beautiful. I don’t think I have anything to worry about.”

You know, there are other, more refined ways to get men to notice you. Tattooing “I’m desperately insecure and willing to do anal” on your forehead or setting yourself on fire while juggling kittens, for example. I guess the fine art of subtlety is just lost on some people.