Remember last month when Entertainment Tonight reported that Angelina had her twins. Except she didn’t. Well a French magazine is reporting that Angelina Jolie gave birth to her twins yesterday morning. Except maybe she didn’t. Closer magazine said:

En exclusivite mondiale, Closer est en mesure de vous annoncer qu’Angelina Jolie aurait accouché ce matin dans un hôpital français ! La star serait rentrée hier soir en salle de travail. Toute reproduction interdite sans la mention du site closermag.fr

You probably realized that was all in French, but being devoted editor I am, I took the liberty of translating it for you. It reads:

I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper Americans. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

Of course, that’s not word-for-word. Some French words don’t translate into the English language as well as others.