If this shit is true, this will be the greatest celebrity wedding of all time! The Daily Star reports that Lindsay Lohan has been telling friends she will marry Samantha Ronson. Just for the record, Lindsay’s have denied she’s bumping coochie lips with Ronson.

Lindsay Lohan wore a ring on her engagement finger this past weekend in Cannes sparking rumors that she’s engaged. Lohan reportedly said she’s planning a partnership ceremony at Dollywood in July. Yes, Dolly Parton’s theme park. Their wedding cake better be a giant funnel cake.

Seriously, this sounds like my kind of wedding. Gayelles, ginges, Dolly Parton, funnel cakes and raggedy roller coasters. Amazing! It’s too good to be true. This is just drunk talk.

And what does Michael Lohan think of all this gayelle action? He told UsWeekly that Lindsay’s romance with Samantha “is evident to anyone with half a brain.” In related news, Dina Lohan has denied the romance. Half a brain meet Dina Lohan.