Jessica Alba was called a “sixth-grade slut” because she developed a chest at a young age! How terrible is that!? Specifically, The New York Post’s Page Six says:

JESSICA Alba knows the trauma of developing a big chest at an early age. She says she was labeled a sixth-grade slut by her elementary school principal and a couple of “self-righteous” PTA moms. “The accusation still ricochets . . . They think I’m a slut?,” Alba recalls in “If I’d Known Then,” Ellyn Spragins’ upcoming book of essays by female celebrities.

I don’t see a problem? Where I come from that’s a compliment. It’s better than being called “caca pants” by your classmates.

Alba adds: “Boys are awful. They are made of nothing but hormones until they’re about 20 or 21 . . . It’s fun to have a crush, but don’t think it’s forever . . . And use birth control and condoms, please.”

Now… I’m not one to judge (you can wipe the coffee off your computer screen, I really did say that, but I didn’t mean it), but Jessica Alba is telling people to use birth control and condoms? This coming from a woman who is knocked up by a man that has supposedly cheated on her ass several times? That’s rich! Oh and Jessica, boys are also made of snips, snails and puppy dog tails! Didn’t you learn anything in school? Obviously not, because you were too busy being a sixth-grade slut!