Paris Hilton is now dating Good Charlotte guitarist Benji Madden. Madden just split up with longtime girlfriend Sophie Monk two weeks ago. Of course Madden’s brother Joel is dating/impregnating Paris’ best friend Nicole Richie. Us Magazine says:

“Paris is tired of the haters and she’s looking for someone new. She’s looking for someone new and cool who she can trust.”

Oh, burn!!! I don’t know what Nicole Richie did to piss off the whore mafia, but as you can see it’s pretty serious. There’s no way both of these douchebags would “just happen” to be dating heiresses. This must be all part of Paris’ master plan to… uh, have sex with with Nicole’s baby uncle!! Well, what do you want? Paris needs attention like Rosie O’Donnell needs food — she can never have enough.