Here is a quick question. You’re a celebrity, you have been sentenced to jail because you drive like a 3 year old, what would your condition be? A normal person would be terrified. But Paris Hilton is not normal. Sure, we saw her carrying The Holy Bible everywhere she went to fool everyone.

But recently she’s been a bit too optimistic for a self-obsessed person that sleeps in her self-obsessed room full of her self-obsessed garbage. Why? Because, she’s Paris Hilton. Going to jail doesn’t stop her from hooking up with new guys and going to work.

Seeing Paris with a new boy toy and a new script is just alarmingly optimistic. The first time I went to jail, I was in chains being stopped on every condition border.