Mariah Carey was shooting a music video in this awful swimsuit that looks like it was crudely fashioned out of a Hefty bag. Now, I’m not gonna give Mariah shit for gaining weight because she got married last year and everyone knows you gain new relationship weight when you’re all happy and lovely-dovey and shit. Plus, you know, Nick Cannon most likely doesn’t mind since it’s a scientific fact that black dudes like girls with a little extra meat on their bones.

But come on, she looks like King Kong Bundy in that thing. There’s “unflattering,” and then there’s taking the word flattering and shooting it in the face with an ugly shotgun.

• Mariah Carey Is Drunk
• Don’t Drop the Fatty

In the December issue of Elle, Sarah Jessica Parker reveals an utterly disgusting favorite scent of hers.

“I love the smell of diapers,” she tells the December issue of Elle magazine.

Parker has been on double diaper duty after the arrival of her twin daughters Marion Loretta and Tabitha Hodge — who were delivered by a surrogate earlier this year — and she doesn’t mind at all.

“I even like when they’re wet and you smell them all warm like a baked good,” the Sex and the City star, 44, says, adding that she even says she loves “the smell of Balmex,” a diaper rash cream.

Like a baked good? The hell kinda pastries does this woman eat? Listen, the least disgusting thing that children ever smell of is drool, so this is basically like someone saying their favourite perfume is Eau de Merde. Which… different strokes, I guess, but dayum.

• Another “Sex and the City”
• Sarah Jessica Parker Returns To Sex On The Street

Rihanna and her ridiculous hair are making the publicity rounds to open up about how Chris Brown attacked her last February, even giving a weepy interview to Diane Sawyer later this week. Because, of course she fucking is. Glamour also got in on a piece of the action:

It has taught me so much. I felt like I went to sleep as Rihanna and woke up as Britney Spears. That was the level of media chaos that happened the next day. It was like, What, there are helicopters circling my house? There are 100 people in my cul-de-sac? What do you mean, I can’t go back home?

You know who probably feels really good about that statement? Britney Spears. Yeah, I know what she was getting at, but still. Sure, Britney may have married a gold-digging loser, dated a skeevy paparazzi, lost her kids and went crazycakes for awhile – but she sure as hell didn’t let no man put his hands on her. Not that any man would be dumb enough to try, mind you. That’s why God invented hornet’s nests and sticks.

• Britney Spears Wants To End The Conservatorship
• Britney’s Boys Shake It
• Britney Spears Is Still Horny
• First Look at Britney Spears Circus Tour
• Rihanna Got Some Cheese