That’s Devendra Banhart folks, who you may bring to mind is the man that Natalie Portman is currently dating. There’s a goddamn winner for you, huh? I presume if I were dating Natalie Portman, I’d want a large penis to obscure my face, too. In fact, for this guy, it’s an improvement. I’m sure he’s got a huge sense of humor, though: I mean, what could be funnier than Groucho Penisface glasses?

Some hot doggy decided to show Natalie Portman just how he felt about her in a NYC park the other day. Natalie was walking her dog when she decided to bend down. That’s when this pooch pounced on the chance to take a wizz on Queen Amidala. That hot bitch was obviously “pissed” off with Natalie for some reason.

I’d like to punch her in the stomach for wearing that Stop Wars shirt and then I would like to sever the arm off of whoever thought it up just like Ben Kenobi did in the bar at Mos Eisley.

Here’s Natalie Portman photographed by Mary Ellen Matthews for “Saturday Night Live”