15-year old Miley Cyrus and her 20-year old underwear model boyfriend Justin Gaston made it to the house of the Lord this past Sunday in matching jeans and wifebeaters. Or as I like to call it, the typical white trash ensemble. As seen on television’s C.O.P.S and Jerry Springer! Throw in an extra-wide belt buckle and barf-stained imitation suede cowboy boots and you’ve got yourself a bonafide State of Tennessee Dress Uniform. WIC checks, generic brand cigarettes and statutory rape charges sold separately. See Wal-Mart for details.

Miley Cyrus believes the time has come to pull the plug on her hit Disney show “Hannah Montana.” According to OK! Magazine

“We’re thinking this is our last season,” Cyrus said.

In response to rumors that she’s trying to distance herself from her Disney family, Cyrus says, “I’m still with my family. They always feel like home, and that’s what I love about the company. They are family.”

In case you’re wondering, that up there is the stance you take when you want to wave good-bye to your career with Disney. It also happens to be the same stance you take when you want to wave hello to a career in B-movies and soft core porn. The world is your oyster, Miley!

According to some source who’s probably just making shit up, Miley Cyrus is interested in playing the role of a promiscuous suburban girl in the upcoming movie Undiscovered Gyrl, a role that will “definitely” include nude scenes. Miley Cyrus is still 15, right? OK, I thought so. This may be the first movie in history where you’re immediately arrested after buying a ticket. From MSNBC:

Cyrus is rumored to be interested in the lead role in “Undiscovered Gyrl,” the film version of Allison Burnett’s new novel. It’s still early for casting — Burnett’s agent Richard Abate has reportedly just begun shopping the manuscript to publishers and has yet to secure a deal for the film.

However, a source close to the project says Cyrus is interested in the part, which would be that of “a lovable, lost suburban girl who descends into a life of reckless partying and promiscuity.” The source says if Cyrus did take the part, you’d be seeing a lot more of Cyrus than what appeared in the Vanity Fair photos. “There would definitely be nude scenes,” says the source.

In addition to a naked 15 year old, I really hope the director throws in footage of me being raped by a rabid grizzly bear. You know, so he can fully be sure that I will never ever watch this movie.