Miley Cyrus performed a concert in Louisville last week, and it’s nice to see that all the 12-year old girls and their moms had something positive and uplifting to talk about their way home. Mostly about not being a whore!

Miley Cyrus updated her Twitter with a picture of her and her mother at dinner in Savannah. Looks like Miley is finally hitting the awkward teen years because she pierced her nose. There’s some debate as to whether it’s fake or real. I’m not sure either way because I haven’t seen a nose piercing like that since the 90’s.

Someone should have told Miley Cyrus that the Oscars was about subtlety. That way she wouldn’t have worn this garish Cinderella dress. You’re going to an awards show, not a midnight ball.

New year, new Miley Cyrus scandal. The Organization of Chinese Americans (OCA) is not happy with a certain Miley picture circulating the internets. They released a statement late yesterday:

The photograph of Miley Cyrus and other individuals slanting their eyes currently circulating the Internet is offensive to the Asian Pacific American community and sets a terrible example for her many young fans. This image falls within a long and unfortunate history of people mocking and denigrating individuals of Asian descent.

“Not only has Miley Cyrus and the other individuals in the photograph encouraged and legitimized the taunting and mocking of people of Asian descent, she has also insulted her many Asian Pacific American fans,” said George Wu, executive director of OCA. “The inclusion of an Asian Pacific American individual in the photo does not make it acceptable.” OCA hopes that Miley Cyrus will apologize to her fans and the APA community for this lapse in judgment and takes the opportunity to better understand why the gesture is offensive.”

Doesn’t the OCA know the unwritten rule that it’s not racist as long as you have a friend who belongs to the minority you’re making fun of or that one person from said minority declares that they’re not offended? Clearly, that’s the case here. Anyway, Miley can’t be racist. Some of her best friends are Asian, like, the guy who works at the Chinese restaurant she always orders from and what’s-his-name from that picture going around the web. Yea, that funny looking kid not pulling back his eyes. They’re total BFF’s.

Miley Cyrus gave the paparazzi a side boob picture while shopping in Hollywood with her sister Brandi this week. This is Armageddon, isn’t it? I’m pretty sure if I went to Disneyland right now there’s a dragon spewing blood on top of Cinderella Castle while Minnie Mouse cries over the decapitated body of Mickey Mouse.

15-year old Miley Cyrus and her 20-year old underwear model boyfriend Justin Gaston made it to the house of the Lord this past Sunday in matching jeans and wifebeaters. Or as I like to call it, the typical white trash ensemble. As seen on television’s C.O.P.S and Jerry Springer! Throw in an extra-wide belt buckle and barf-stained imitation suede cowboy boots and you’ve got yourself a bonafide State of Tennessee Dress Uniform. WIC checks, generic brand cigarettes and statutory rape charges sold separately. See Wal-Mart for details.

Miley Cyrus believes the time has come to pull the plug on her hit Disney show “Hannah Montana.” According to OK! Magazine

“We’re thinking this is our last season,” Cyrus said.

In response to rumors that she’s trying to distance herself from her Disney family, Cyrus says, “I’m still with my family. They always feel like home, and that’s what I love about the company. They are family.”

In case you’re wondering, that up there is the stance you take when you want to wave good-bye to your career with Disney. It also happens to be the same stance you take when you want to wave hello to a career in B-movies and soft core porn. The world is your oyster, Miley!

According to some source who’s probably just making shit up, Miley Cyrus is interested in playing the role of a promiscuous suburban girl in the upcoming movie Undiscovered Gyrl, a role that will “definitely” include nude scenes. Miley Cyrus is still 15, right? OK, I thought so. This may be the first movie in history where you’re immediately arrested after buying a ticket. From MSNBC:

Cyrus is rumored to be interested in the lead role in “Undiscovered Gyrl,” the film version of Allison Burnett’s new novel. It’s still early for casting — Burnett’s agent Richard Abate has reportedly just begun shopping the manuscript to publishers and has yet to secure a deal for the film.

However, a source close to the project says Cyrus is interested in the part, which would be that of “a lovable, lost suburban girl who descends into a life of reckless partying and promiscuity.” The source says if Cyrus did take the part, you’d be seeing a lot more of Cyrus than what appeared in the Vanity Fair photos. “There would definitely be nude scenes,” says the source.

In addition to a naked 15 year old, I really hope the director throws in footage of me being raped by a rabid grizzly bear. You know, so he can fully be sure that I will never ever watch this movie.

The man posing with Miley Cyrus in some of her recent MySpace pics has won’t be taking her to junior prom this year, mostly because he graduated from high school four years ago. Nine MSN says:

Miley Cyrus has been snapped cozying up to a new guy – seven years her senior! The tween superstar, already no stranger to controversy, appears in the shots [kissing one of her back up] dancers ‘Ryan.’

I’m sure 22-year olds and 15-year olds have tons in common. Like, um, MySpace… and other stuff. Like some guy once said, “The language of love needs no translation.” It’s just written in all caps acronyms and punctuated with emoticons so your hater parents can’t understand any of it.

Here’s Miley on the set of her latest music video.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Milk is great. NOW CLOSE YOUR GODDAMN LEGS. You’re 15 for God’s Sake.