[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ixf8ko3qIY[/youtube]

Madonna paws at her crotch and thrusts her way through her new video “Celebration,” which also boasts the “talents” of boyfriend Jesus Luz and her preteen daughter Lourdes. The Daily Mail says

Luz, posing as a topless DJ, ends up kissing the mother-of-four before the scene cuts to a troupe of breakdancers – including Madonna’s 12-year-old daughter Lourdes.

If you can’t bear watching the video (I only could because somebody’s paying me to), there’s a “spoken word portion” in which Madge whispers to Luz

Haven’t I seen you somewhere before? You look familiar… You wanna dance? Yeah?
I guess I just don’t recognize you with your clothes on. What are you waiting for?

Yeah, what are you waiting for, Jesus? Her Geritol to kick in? High five!

Madonna was seen out in London last night with arms that no longer resemble human arms, but flesh-colored rain forest tree vines. Grandma Madge has had a good innings (much, much longer than her talent should have allowed) and it can only be hoped that she will understand this and fade into the background and enjoy a comfortable retirement. Sadly though, I fear this is an unlikely scenario.

The stage for Madonna’s concert in Marseille, France collapsed today, killing one person and injuring six. The collapse occurred at the Velodrome stadium where Madonna was going to perform on July 19. We’re told the top of the stage collapsed on a crane, which, in turn, fell on top of the workers. Fire officials in Marseille tell us two of the injured workers are in critical condition, one is an American.

French papers say the concert has been canceled.

Madonna has issued the following statement: “I am devastated to have just received this tragic news. My prayers go out to those who were injured and their families along with my deepest sympathy to all those affected by this heartbreaking news.”