Iconic fashion doll Barbie serves as guest editor in next month’s issue of Kurv magazine, in which Kim Kardashian poses as her real-life incarnation. The photos don’t exactly scream Barbie. I’m getting a drag queen vibe more than anything.

She tweeted about the experience earlier this month, writing: “I’m shooting a Barbie themed photo shoot today with famed photographer Tony Duran! . . .These looks are crazy!”

Yes, a crazy hot mess.

Get ready to have your faith in true love unfathomably shaken — Kim Kardashian and football star Reggie Bush have gone their separate ways after two years together. According to Us Magazine

“Nobody cheated,” a source close to the couple says. “This is just a case of conflicting schedules and their lives going in different directions. It was a totally mutual decision.”

The reality star, 28, began dating Bush, 24, in April 2007.

I love how the gut reaction is to deny cheating. Like, okay Kim. No one accused her of getting peed on by another guy. And even if she were getting peed on by another guy, is that so wrong? Either way, there’s lots of urine out there in the world, and she’s still young. So let’s everybody just cut her some slack.

Ken Paves wigged up Kim Kardashian’s head for a spread in O Magazine and she looks good (she almost looks like Christy Turlington, who is fantastic), but we only see her face. Her ass. How is short hair gonna work with that big ass of hers? These unscrupulous photos prove nothing.

My god. How is that even possible? I fear we may never know. I think just to be safe, Kim needs to be put down so we can preserve her ass in formaldehyde for future scientific study.

Complex Magazine posted a pre-Photoshopped picture of Kim Kardassian on their website and Animal NY caught it before it was switched out.

These are always fucking fun. There’s a few differences I noticed right away. First, they bathed her ass in a little bleach. Then they rubbed out the vein farm and fromagerie on her thighs. After that, they sucked her in a bit and also sent her baby hairs to school for the day. While they were at it, they should’ve used the “sparkly eyes” tool to make her dead eyes (aka trying to be sexy eyes) look fucking alive.

Heidi Klum threw her 9th Annual Halloween Party in New York on Friday dressed as the multi-armed Indian god Shiva. As always, she had the best costume there. The only way that costume could kick any more ass is if it also included eight boobs and maybe a jet pack.

Seal

Ashley Olsen

Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart 

Carmen Electra

Helena Christensen

Ice-T and Coco

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt

Kendra Wilkinson

Kim Kardashian

Liv Tyler

Traci Bingham 

Kim Kardashian posted this picture with a blog saying this picture of her at 14 is proof she did not get plastic surgery to improve on her assets.

This is a picture of me when I was about 14 years old in a bikini. I hope after seeing this you guys will never ask me a plastic surgery question again! I have had a size C since I was 11 years old! So one day I will definitely get a lift, but I am waiting until after I have kids. Until then I rely on a great supportive bra! LOL!
All the butt implant rumors are just so not true and now just silly to me. I have answered dozens of times “no I do not have butt implants,” but people just don’t seem to want to believe it!

That’s pretty impressive, but I have a strange feeling Chris Hansen is frothing at the mouth right now, waiting for his chance to come to my house and ask me a few questions. Still, no way is this Kim at 14. Her head looks 14, but her body looks 24. I may have to examine this further to see if this all checks out. In the name of science.

Kim Kardashian has swallowed being called a lot of things – dummy, slut, human urinal – but one thing she won’t stomach is being called a liar. After several commenters on her website accused her lying about her waist size, Kim found a way to prove them all wrong. MSNBC says:

“I am really sick and tired of people being so mean and nasty and assume I am lying,” she wrote, adding, “JUST FOR YOU NON-BELIEVERS, I WILL POST A VIDEO BLOG OF ME SHOWING YOU GUYS MY SIZE 27 JEANS LATER TONIGHT!”

True to her word, the “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” star filmed the tags from three pairs of her favorite jeans, and in order to head off any conspiracy theories before they began, Kim squeezed into each pair of dungarees for the camera.

In Kim’s defense, I am the same height as her and I also wear size 27 jeans. But since my ass doesn’t resemble a Weeble Wobble, (they wobble but never fall down!) my daily dressing routine involves significantly less heaving and jumping up and down. Hell, with enough struggling and lube, I could probably tell people that I fit into jeans from BabyGap – but at the end of the day I’d only be lying to myself. And Jesus hates liars. Of course, Jesus also hates girls who let themselves get urinated on by black dudes on camera, so the lying stuff is really the least of Kim’s concerns.

Kim Kardashian is showing signs of continuously following Paris Hilton’s footsteps. First the sex tape, then the reality TV show, and now she’s performing with the Pussycat Dolls. Seriously, Kim and her fat ass needs to get a real job already.

Kim Kardashian is in Cabo san Lucas for a photo shoot today, and she looks pretty good, but new scientific evidence points to Kim Kardashian’s ass as being responsible for the ocean’s life-giving ebb and flow. The gravity pull on that thing has got to be asstronomical! Someone call NASA!