Beyoncé Fired Her Dad But Kept It In The Family

Beyonce issued a statement to the media yesterday saying that she pretty much fired her dad as her manager:

“I’ve only parted ways with my father on a business level. He is my father for life and I love my dad dearly. I am grateful for everything he has taught me. I grew up watching both he and my mother manage and own their own businesses. They were hard-working entrepreneurs and I will continue to follow in their footsteps.”

You really can’t blame Beyonce for firing this dude. She’s made what, $55 billion dollars the past few years? With better management, she easily could have made $56 or even $57 billion. Seriously, I hate you bitch.

Kelly Osbourne Is Smurfette

Now this is just sad. After losing a ton of weight and being on a one-way trip to hotness lane, Kelly Osbourne went and did this. Fail. Blue, Smurfy fail.

Look, we’re not knocking the body. The body looks bangin’. It’s that blue crap on her head and all over her bod that really throws me off. And lets not even talk about about the blue lipstick and overly powdered face. A mess. And not a hot mess.

Charlie Sheen Starved His Ex-Wife’s Dog To Death

After Charlie’s Sheen’s infamous meltdown at The Plaza Hotel last year, he basically stopped caring for his two pugs (which were actually Denise Richards’ but she let them stay at Charlie’s house so her kids could play during their visits). From TMZ:

Things were ok for a while, but after Charlie’s meltdown at the Plaza hotel in NYC, Denise started getting calls that the pugs were malnourished and neglected. Things became so alarming, we’re told Denise went to Charlie’s and he gave her the dogs. Sadly, one of them died of malnutrition, but the other is ok.

Now Charlie wants the dog back, and sources say he just wants the pooch as a mascot on his tour bus.

You dog lovers have to look at the bright side of this story: when I die, I would love to be buried in the backyard of a huge mansion next to a bunch of hookers. That little doggy is going to be the envy of all his buddies in Heaven whose bodies were just tossed into trash cans.