In “Totally Non-Story Story” news, Jessica Simpson is broken up with Tony Romo and Nick Lachey is broken up with Vanessa Minnillo. That means they can totally get back together now, right? Right?!

To much disappointment, Nick has stated that he hit that and he is not a glutton for punishment.

“I think it’s fun storytelling, but there’s very little truth to any of it. I certainly have heard about her breakup and I wish her the best, as I’ve always done. Aside from that, there really is nothing to say.”

Lachey also mentions that there is zero contact between him and Jessica. So there is no chance of a reconciliation.

“I haven’t talked to her in probably two years,” Lachey says. “I wish her happiness. That’s where it pretty much ends.”

What a dumb idiot. The only thing that ever made Nick Lachey even remotely interesting was Jessica Simpson. The least he could do is throw in a “I’m here if she ever needs to talk.” I guess he really just doesn’t like being a celebrity, then. Well I hope he enjoys hosting parties in Atlantic City, because pretty soon he’ll be hosting tractor pull competitions at county fairs.