Paris Hilton cares deeply about the recession. And by that I mean that she is very concerned about the diamond-less state of her jackassy Pepto Bismol pink Bentley.

A Bentley source said last night: “I guess she’s not hit too badly by the recession. Paris got one of her guys to phone Bentley in Crewe, where the vehicle was made, to ask if it would be possible to give it a little more sparkle.

“When the man said she wanted to stud the dashboard with a couple of hundred grand’s worth of diamonds, we were stunned.

I’m trying to think of what the appropriate karmic retribution would be for having a “diamond-encrusted” dashboard made for your car in the middle of an international financial crisis, but I can’t really think of anything that doesn’t involve her actually having to eat the dashboard. So instead, I’ll just say that I hope someone shoots her in the face. Ta da! Sometimes the old classics really are the best.