Ali Lohan posed for Jonathan Ressler’s ‘Extraordinary Women Exhibit’ in Times Square, presumably right next to a train station where a grieved watchmaker had built a clock that ran backwards. She looks like she could be 30 years old, and she’s only 15. Jesus. It’s like she has that disease that makes you age faster than everyone else. By the time she’s 18, her breasts will be swinging down by her knees…

How did Ali fall into the “extraordinary women” category? White Oprah probably fell on Jonathan’s dick and that’s how she made this happen.

Shouldn’t this girl be in school anyway? She shouldn’t be outside freezing her illegal plastic tittay sacks in the middle of Times Square looking like one of the Hookers at the Point in dire need of a Swan makeover. Being one of White Oprah’s children will eff you up. The Curious Case of Ali Lohan, indeed.