Amy Winehouse unveiled a snappy new dance for paparazzi last night outside her Camden Crack Den. Wow, I never realized she had so much rhythm. I wonder what we should call it? I like the “Crackhead Shuffle” but the “Epileptic Seizure” has its charms as well… which coincidentally is really fun in bed. Either one I think we can all agree that Amy Winehouse is hot as fuck!

Here she is in the night outside of her Camden Crack Den. I apologize for including pictures of her scratching (or fingering?) her crackey ‘gina.

When I first read about this, my instantaneous thought was, What, Britney’s going topless so citizens will throw clothes at her? Or maybe she’s going to feed the hungry with the leftover cheeseburger bits and Bacos stuck in her bellybutton? The reality is a lot more boring, since the picture of her that’s being auctioned off on eBay is actually a painting of a photo of a topless Britney. Way to pull a fast one, Britney! In fact, that painting would look awesome in my living room next to panther floor lamp. I’m off to place my bid! I sure hope they take Monopoly money.

Amanda Woodward aka Sammy Jo aka Officer Stacy aka Heather Locklear was busted for driving while impaired in Santa Barbara on Saturday. You might remember that Heather checked herself into rehab for “anxiety and depression” (re: pill-popping) back in June. TMZ says:

A resident reported Heather “driving erratically” as she was pulling out of a parking lot in Santa Barbara. An officer then noticed her car parked on a state highway and blocking a lane. After speaking with Locklear, the officer determined she was under the influence of something and arrested her.

Law enforcement officers tell us alcohol was not involved, however, they are conducting tests to determine if Locklear was under the influence of drugs.

Maybe she was just confused by the misnomer “parkway.” I could see how one, in theory, might think you should park on a parkway. Provided you were the kind of person who also wonders how they get deer to cross at those little yellow signs on the side of the road and why they would make an oil out of babies. I believe the technical term is actually “dumbass.”