According to some source who’s probably just making shit up, Miley Cyrus is interested in playing the role of a promiscuous suburban girl in the upcoming movie Undiscovered Gyrl, a role that will “definitely” include nude scenes. Miley Cyrus is still 15, right? OK, I thought so. This may be the first movie in history where you’re immediately arrested after buying a ticket. From MSNBC:

Cyrus is rumored to be interested in the lead role in “Undiscovered Gyrl,” the film version of Allison Burnett’s new novel. It’s still early for casting — Burnett’s agent Richard Abate has reportedly just begun shopping the manuscript to publishers and has yet to secure a deal for the film.

However, a source close to the project says Cyrus is interested in the part, which would be that of “a lovable, lost suburban girl who descends into a life of reckless partying and promiscuity.” The source says if Cyrus did take the part, you’d be seeing a lot more of Cyrus than what appeared in the Vanity Fair photos. “There would definitely be nude scenes,” says the source.

In addition to a naked 15 year old, I really hope the director throws in footage of me being raped by a rabid grizzly bear. You know, so he can fully be sure that I will never ever watch this movie.

If you ask me, the wax figure looks nothing like Winehouse! Her wax skin isn’t falling off! Where’s her cat poo stained ballet slippers, her raggedy gold belt, her crackie coochie cutters and her burnt up fingers? This is not exact likeness! Wino didn’t even look this clean when she was a baby. They could have at least put a crackpipe in one hand and an ice pop in the other.

Levi McConaughey makes his debut appearance on the cover of this week’s OK! Magazine, along with Daddy Matthew and Mommy Camila. Matthew was in the room with Camila during the delivery, and was more than happy to divulge all the birthing details:

“We found a great rhythm. Contractions started kicking in. I sat there with her, right between her legs. We got tribal on it, we danced to it! I was DJ-ing this Brazilian music. We were jamming! She was sweating. No painkiller, let’s go. She just clicked into that gear that only a woman has at a time like this. [I said,] ‘Let’s handle this… let’s stay in the rhythm. Don’t let the contraction be more than you.’”

I can’t think of anything worse for the birthing experience than Matthew McConaughey “going tribal” in between my legs while a seven pound larva tries to rip its way out of my vagina.