Madonna was photographed leaving a Kabbalah center in Manhattan on Friday looking like a Jocelyn Wildenstein cadaver. Zing!

Amy Winehouse was rushed by ambulance today to Royal College Hospital in London. According to her almost-certainly-lying rep, Amy suffered a “reaction” to medication she had just taken. A London Ambulance Service rep told The Daily Mail:

Paramedics were called by father Mitch after Amy reportedly suffered an episode of ‘fitting’. The singer was wheeled out of her north London home just after 8:40 pm by paramedics as [her] father watched [on].

Her spokesman said in a statement: “Amy Winehouse suffered a reaction to medication at home this evening and was taken to hospital. Doctors have advised that she will be kept under observation overnight and is likely to be released tomorrow.”

I don’t know why Amy Winehouse’s doctors would even bother with a diagnosis anymore. They could just draw a big frowny face on her chart with X’s for eyes and a tongue sticking out and call it a day. Maybe pencil in a couple of flies and stink lines around the head for credibility and bellow “DEAD MAN WALKIN’!” every time they opened it. Or they could just swap it out for a blank autopsy report. We’re splitting hairs at this point, really.

Lindsay Lohan was hospitalized early Sunday morning after being sideswiped by a motorbike. According to the NY Post

With sapphic sidekick Samantha Ronson by her side, Lohan was hit by a moving bike “outside a club on 32nd Street,” the movie starlet’s dad Michael Lohan confirmed. “She’s not hurt. That’s all I really care about,” Lohan said of his oldest daughter.

LiLo was taken to Beth Israel Medical Center and released at 4 a.m. [the same day].

Whoever hit Lohan’s ass, did it on purpose. It’s just natural instinct. You’re riding down the street, you see Lohan walking out of a club, and you can’t help but want to hit her ass. 25 points!