Batman actor Christian Bale had assault charges filed against him yesterday while in London for the British premiere of The Dark Knight. But here’s the shocker: the charges were filed by his own mother and sister. According to The Sun

He is alleged to have lashed out on Sunday night at Park Lane’s Dorchester Hotel where he has a suite. Mum Jenny, 61, and sister Sharon, 40, who lives in Dorset, went to a police station in Hampshire yesterday to lodge the allegation. The matter was referred to the Met Police. Detectives… are expected to quiz the Wales-born actor today.

Oh, please please please don’t let this be true. Oh please oh please oh please! This guy is way too cool to be that guy. And if it is true, if it has to be true, at least let it be because of some sort of method acting mishap. That his Dark Knight personae inadvertently slipped into his real life, somehow.

Update: TMZ reports that Christian was arrested today and taken in for questioning.