Victoria Beckham is a really bad kisser, so claims ex-boyfriend Corey Haim … Wait, what the fuck? Corey Haim used to date Victoria Beckham? When did that happen? The Daily Mail says:

Victoria Beckham can’t kiss to save her life, says film has-been Corey Haim, who briefly dated the former Spice Girl before she married husband David. Haim, 36, known in the ’80s for his role in The Lost Boys, claims that Victoria gnawed on his lips and made a strange grrhh sound when they kissed. The pair met in 1995 when Victoria was at a London recording studio with her Spice Girl bandmates. They were ’soulmates’, says Haim, who claims Posh was so serious about him that she took him to her family home - where her parents warned him off visiting her bedroom at night.

“When she kisses she does this little grrhh thing. What did it feel like? Like a girl gnawing on your lip!” says Haim in a recent kiss-and-tell magazine interview.

Posh Spice has the face of a wombat, so hearing that she growls and gnaws when she kisses is probably the least surprising intimate detail of a celebrity I’ve ever heard. Still, coming from a guy who is probably somewhere listing autographed pictures of himself on ebay that he color copied himself at “Kinkos” right now is pretty embarrassing. I’m sure she would have cried like three whole fat tears about it if she hadn’t had her tear glands removed to make her face look thinner.