VIPRUMOR.com

So I get home from the gym yesterday evening, and turn on the old computer to be greeted with the headline, “Clay Aiken to be a Father.” After slapping myself in the face repeatedly to make sure I didn’t drop dead of a heart attack on the treadmill and went to gossip blogger heaven, I read on. So many questions! Who? How? Why? How again?! I’ll let Us Weekly field these burning inquiries:

Idol Clay Aiken’s producer is pregnant with his child, TMZ.com reports. Jaymes Foster (who is reportedly in her late 40s) was artificial inseminated with the 29-year-old singer’s sperm, according to the report.

Aiken lives with Foster - described as his “best friend” - when he’s in L.A. and plans to be involved with parenting their child.

Well of course if Clay Aiken was going to be a father it’d have to be freaky-deeky Michael Jackson turkey baster sex to some lesbian almost twice his age. Because you know the alternative is too horrific to even imagine. Step aside, Thomas Beatie - you are no longer of interest to me.

Supermodel and excellent ass kicker, Naomi Campbell, was officially charged for allegedly beating and spitting at cops during an incident at Heathrow in April. Naomi was thrown off of a flight, because… well… because she’s a bitch. Cops were called and that’s when shit went down.

Naomi was charged with five offenses - three counts of assaulting a constable, one of disorderly conduct likely to cause harassment, alarm or distress and one of using threatening or abusive words or behavior to cabin crew. Basically, she was charged for being a crazy ass bitch.

Her lawyer told reporters outside the police station:

“Miss Campbell is bitterly disappointed that the prosecutors have advised her she is to be prosecuted for various offences. She respects that decision and she hopes this matter is dealt with expeditiously.”

Translation: Naomi is going to kill prosecutors using her bare teeth only.

Naomi is due in court on June 20th.

These are the only Naomi Campbell pictures we ever post. And they’re with Naomi naked ( NSFW, of course):

Hold on to your hats, cause this shit is a total surprise: Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz confirmed on the website Friends Or Enemies that they are expecting a little baby. The shotgun wedding wasn’t confirmation enough?

These two dumb whores wrote:

“While many have speculated about this, we wanted to wait until after the first trimester to officially confirm that we are expecting our first child. This is truly the most joyous time in our lives and we are excited to share the happy news and start our family.”

Looks like we might have a new contestant in the fugliest baby of the year contest! I refuse to believe that these two idiots actually do sex. Pete only sticks the tip in, gets nervous, pulls out and then starts giggling like a school girl. I don’t even think Pete can produce semen!