Tom Cruise and company were finally allowed to film parts of their Nazi movie, ‘Valkyrie’ in Berlin and Tommy Girl wanted a moment of silence to pay tribute to the anti-Nazi heroes they portray. This moment of silence was broken when one of the crew member on his latest film set passed wind during a minute’s silence.

A source on set said, “Fortunately the mystery gassy man didn’t completely ruin the touching gesture. Quite rightly, Tom is furious. We were filming at the Bendler Block in Germany where the anti-Nazis were executed.”

The source added: “So for somebody to pass wind in a situation like that is unforgivable.”

A little fart never hurt anyone! When you got to blow, you got to blow. I find farts hilarious. I know it was a solemn moment, and I guess there are moments when it’s inappropriate. But if it’s during one of Tom Cruise’s orchestrated control fests, I sincerely approve. Dude created his own Nazi gas chamber.

And that its not all…Star magazine, says that Tom Cruise is planning to build a … wait for it … wait for it … a 10 million dollar underground bunker in Colorado to prepare for the arrival of Xenu, his alien god who is at the heart of scientology. Star says:

Devout Scientologist Tom Cruise plans to build a $10 million bunker under his Telluride, Colorado, mansion, a source tells Star! Equipped with a high tech air-purifying system, “it’s a self-contained underground system where up to 10 people can survive for years.” Apparently, Scientologists believe that the evil deposed galactic ruler Xenu is set to attack Earth, and they’ll need a safe place to survive.

I spoke with Xenu, he told me the first place he will destroy is Colorado. He hates short gay men. Where’s the popcorn? Certainly that is more entertaining than his movies!

Also - how do I know Tom’s nuts are tiny? It would make sense; the rest of him is tiny. Especially his brain. And another thing - his mother is cute.